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Unfair Flips World Record Strategy

posted by graham on October 14, 2025

Unfair Flips is a game about flipping a coin to get 10 Heads flips in a row.

Unfair Flips is a game about how humans interact with variable probability.

Unfair Flips is a game about how people interpret the information presented to them, relative to the seemingly random outcomes they experience.

Unfair Flips is a game about why people play games at all, when there’s only a finite amount of time to experience them.

Unfair Flips is a game with a speedrunning community. The rules of the speedrun say that time starts when the first coin is flipped and ends when one of the various endings occurs and then number of total flips is displayed. The current world-record strategy routeing seems like an optimal series of upgrades to minimize time played, along with a lot of luck. Statistically speaking, the variance in flips will eventally produce a relatively fast run. The minimum required number of flips per run is 10 Heads and no Tails. With enough time across enough runners, it’s possible that someone will even get this lucky. Other speedruns tend to rely on memorization, dexterity, and endurance. While the orders of upgrades could land in those former

Working on a game called Nimnim

posted by graham on October 13, 2025

Background

Every game of Magic: the Gathering can technically be won by making another player try to draw a card when there are no cards left in their deck, a strategy called “milling.”1 In custom fan formats like Dandân2, there is a single deck shared between the two players, which encourages milling as a more serious backup strategy if the whole “making your opponent lose life” thing doesn’t work out. Recently, I became curious what a custom format might look like if milling was not only a backup but the only strategy? Constraints breed creativity, after all.

Nim is a much older game than MTG about trying not to be the last player to remove an object from a central pile. Every turn, each player can choose to pick up one object, pick up two objects, or pick up half of the remaining objects. It’s often used as an example game with easy rules to implement in introductory computer-science classes, since the game strategy is solved and coding that strategy is simple to do. Part of what makes the strategy so simple is that both players always have the same actions they can take each turn, and

Unfair Flips Friends at the Table Playthrough

posted by graham on September 28, 2025

This weekend, I was overcome by the urge to make this extremely specific fanart.

The Red Duke and The Blue Baron clinking their goblets of wine and milk respectively, with Jack and Austin flipping unfair coins in the foreground

I recently watched Austin and Jack from Friends at the Table play Hthrflwrs’s extremely good new video game Unfair Flips by streaming it on Twitch

Over the course of the roughly three hour stream, Austin and Jack — among other things1 — invented a pair of delightfully frustrating fictional oligarchs named The Red Duke and The Blue Baron, who alternated between jabs at their subjects (the streamers) and talking to each other about the rousing match of coin flips the were playing vicariously through them.

Footnotes

  1. Austin also read a long excerpt about how wine and milk are two ends of a spectrum among drinks. I forget which book excerpt it came from, but it was a great time. In my headcannon, The Blue Baron is a milk-drinker, while The Red Duke drinks wine.

Poor Hemplo

posted by graham on September 14, 2025

My partner speaks some Spanish. I only understand a few words. A few months back, I was confused by something in Spanish, and I was bummed about not understanding. I asked my partner, and I got some clarifying example followed by the phrase “por ejemplo.” I heard it as ”[…] poor Hemplo,” thinking that my partner had invented a pet name to go with how sad and pathetic I was being.

Ever since, we’ve used “Poor Hemplo…” as a way to express that we understand the other person is complaining and wants attention, but that the complaint isn’t a very serious one.

“Oh no, we’re all out of grapes” “Poor Hemplo…”

tags: #wordplay

Family Slang Words For Cats

posted by graham on September 2, 2025

With very short exceptions, my parents have had cats for as long as I’ve been alive. My nuclear family is close and has plenty of words, phrases, or family references/in-jokes1 that I took for granted growing up. When I was in middle school, my at-the-time crush came over around my birthday because she had gotten me a present.2 She was allergic to cats, so she had little-to-no concept of cat behaviors. While we sat on the couch, I tried to explain what the cats were doing and why, using as specific of language as I could: the ones I learned from my family. She responded that those words weren’t real, and I explained that my family always used these words. It then dawned on me that families could create common-sounding words that were actually extremely niche.

Many years later, I’ve since learned that all words are made up. With that in mind, here’s a descriptivist approach to my family’s words for describing cats. Where possible, I’ve tried to include any known etymology I could in the footnotes:

boonk /bʊŋk/ verb — a cat intentionally hitting its forehead on anything 3

smear /smiɚ/ verb — a cat rubbing either

It's Been A Minute

posted by graham on September 2, 2025

I haven’t blogged in many months, but I’ve been meaning to! In that time, I was settling into a relatively new job, I was porting my website over from eleventy to astro, and I was accumulating various blog post topics to write about.

For a while now, I’ve been frustrated that I could not easily form abitrary collections of things for archiving-purposes. There’s art that I have and/or my partner has done and I’d like to be able to showcase it, like I used to on cohost. I’m hopeful that this transition will help make doing so much easier for me.

If there’s anything that looks strange (derogatory), feel free to comment, email, or otherwise ask about it and I’ll look into it. I’ve been trying to test that everything looks good on my RSS feed reader, when I share posts via Discord, etc, but it’s possible that I missed something in the shuffle.

tags: #meta

Raku Firing Workshop

posted by graham on May 21, 2025

My partner and I attended a pottery workshop at a studio outside of the city this past weekend. When you do pottery in a city, space is a premium. It’s common to feel anywhere from cozy to a bit claustrophobic in a busy art studio. Most don’t have any outdoor spaces, and even if they did, there would likely be restrictions on how openly you could do alternative firing techniques without creating significant risk to your neighbors or the general public. You can hardly even use outdoor grills in a lot of neighborhoods in my city, even if you have a back deck or patio for them.

For these reasons, we drove an hour to a much larger ceramics warehouse that had a large outdoor firing yard where you could have open flames, smoke clouds, and gas kilns. There, the head of the warehouse ran a Raku firing workshop for the dozen potters and their plus-ones all day. It was sunny with no clouds and was surprisingly windy all day, but it was overall a lovely time.

A bright lightbox photo of a curved, glossy white sculpture with a hole through it in the middle that has thin black cracks framing the hole on all sides

Raku originated in Japan. There, the piece was removed from the kiln while still very hot and it was left to cool in

tags: #art #pottery

Blood and Law

posted by graham on May 10, 2025

Tonight, I finally got to meet friends from cohost @tsiro (richard), @bcj, and @thricedotted (li) in person, along with their friend Mouse. I had a great time filled with a lot of laughter. One of the topics brought up was the online conference that bcj and many of their friends partake in, involving 5-to-10-minute presentations. When it became my turn to talk about a presentation idea, I mentioned the following means of counting familial relationships as my most-recently-workshopped bit that I believed I could stretch to 5-10 minutes.

In a family, each and every person is related by a linear combination of the following two characteristics:

  • Blood
  • Law

Blood

When two people are related by blood, that means they share “blood relatives” linked by nuclear family: biological parents (1 step up the tree), biological children (1 step down the tree), or biological siblings (1 step over on the tree). We can determine the number of blood steps1 for other specially-named relatives too, like great-grandparent (3 blood steps up), cousin (1 blood step up, 1 over, 1 down), or nephew (1 blood step over, 1 down). In each case, we aim to produce the shortest path between the

Poliwhirl's Mouth

posted by graham on May 3, 2025

I spent some time this morning thinking about Pokémon. Specifically, I considered how the poliwag, poliwhirl, poliwrath evolution line mimics poliwogs, frogs, and frog-themed wrestlers. While considering this, I noticed that poliwag’s mouth is separate from the hypnotic spiral on its front:

the default photo of poliwag, the tadpole pokemon showing its mouth above the spiral

This led me to consider how poliwhirl’s mouth must work. I came up with the following two options, which I illustrated by hand on my phone:

normal poliwhirl at the top, an arrow down to the left of poliwhirl illustrated in all blue with a thin black mouth line, and an arrow down to the right of poliwhirl illustrated to open a mouth that sort of peels away the spiral to open

I think the one on the right is technically more frog-like, while the left just looks like a blue Dot Gobbler.

Baker's Units Revisited

posted by graham on March 7, 2025

A few years ago on cohost, I (re)invented the idea of applying “baker’s” to any quantity to refer to one more of that quantity. A baker’s dozen is 13, a baker’s half-dozen is 7, a baker’s score is 21, etc. The etymology of the phrase mentions adding a 13th loaf of bread when selling a dozen, to be on the safe side. This “rounding up to one more” could be applied to any quantity, so I’m surely not the first person to consider it.

Last night, I was imagining applying the opposite of the “baker’s” prefix, to indcate one fewer of a given quantity. I had originally come up with “swindler’s,” but my friend mentioned that it wasn’t specific enough of a profession. To keep with the idea of “skimming one off the top” and to minimize the Levenshtein distance between the prefixes, I proposed “banker’s.” A banker’s dozen is 11, a banker’s half-dozen is 5, a banker’s score is 19, etc.

It turns out that banker’s dozen is already a phrase in Australian English, which may just push me personally from “fun in-joke” to “actually adopting and spreading the phrase whenever possible.”

tags: #wordplay